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Wednesday, June 29, 2011

THIS SPACE IS DEDICATED TO INTERNAL MONOLOGUE

The page in my "Wreck This Journal"
that started it all...
So many memories. So many memories, I can't remember them all. I wish I was a fish, so I could fly away on a jet pack. Rainbows make me feel angry. I have nightmares about not having my school books for class. I received books in the mail today. Maybe my nightmare won't come true. Amazon is a girl's best friend. I want your love and I want your revenge. You and me could write a bad romance. Love, love, love, I want your love. I like penguins. And ketchup. Don't read too far into that. That'd be awkward. So don't be exactly half of an eleven pound black forrest ham and read too much into my love for penguins and ketchup. Did you know that Africa is a continent and Pluto is no longer a planet? That makes me sad. What did Pluto ever do to deserve that? It's racism. Pure racism. That's messed up. And that's wrong. Have you ever looked at the word "wrong" and thought "What de fluff?" It's a funny word. So is pickle. How did man discover the ability to pickle stuff? My gum tastes good, even after chewing it for an hour and a half. My stomach is making funny noises because I didn't eat dinner. My shoe is starting to look tasty. That's a problem. I wish I were an icon, like Chuck Norris. Or Mr. Rogers. Or the Verizon guy. Then I would never chew on my foot. If ninja turtles were, hypothetically (I love that word) speaking, were real, my life would be complete. For real. I just popped my neck. It hurt. My knee sock is making my knee itch, and that is really uncomfortable. Orlando Bloom and Billy Boyd are on my wall. Be jealous. Actually, don't. Because that's a sin. Actually, no. Strike that, reverse it. It's a sin to envy. I lied about jealous being a sin.... Crap. This sucks. I'm listening to "Sweet Child O Mine" by Guns N Roses. What does the "O" stand for? I found out tonight that Bob Hope was a hundred years old when he died seven years ago. That dude was old. Like, for real. This is harder than I expected. That's what she said. But I was actually referring to writing all of this down. It's cold outside, but there's no snow. And that sucks. It's not fair. My face itched, but I scratched it. I didn't scratch my knee when it itched. My name's not Ross. I have a spork in front of me, and that's not a figure of speech. Ke$ha is a strange person with a peculiar obsession with glitter. But she always looks like a hobo in her music videos. A glittery hobo. Wow. That's awesome. I'm craving an iced chai tea latte from Starbucks. A BIG one. X-Men 3 really sucked. Brett Ratner sucks. I definitely agree with Matthew Thomas Provencal on that one. Would you rather be a pirate or a ninja? I'd rather be a ninja turtle. Because that would be amazing. Amazing like a s'more....more like amazing like a Girl Scout cookie. Thin Mints and Samoas are BEAST..... You sly dog! You got me monologuing! 

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